Man Clucking Like Chicken Saves Millions from Holiday Boredom! Welcome to the most exciting development in Christmas, since Santa himself! This quality product is uniquely and specifically designed to bring the MERRY back into Christmas, the HAPPY back into New Year and the stuffer back into stocking! KIDS LOVE IT! Adults love it! Adult children love it as well as childish adults. And isn't being a kid again what Christmas is all about? This album contains fully orchestrated accompaniment, jazz combos, medieval minstrels and more! Please do not confuse this with other products that contain sampled animal sounds. As entertaining as they may be, they do not have the enduring quality and production values of Happy Clucking Holidays. Buy Happy Clucking Holidays and get more than your money's worth. Can you put a price tag on joy? How much is it worth to put a smile on a small child's face. Wouldn't you love to see your friends laugh for just a few dollars? This is your chance! Order NOW! Still Not convinced? Here are the answers to our most frequently asked questions: Q: Why do I need Happy Clucking Holidays? A: You need mirth and merriment and this is your ticket to holiday fun fun fun. Put Happy Clucking Holidays in your CD changer between your Bing Crosby and Nat King Cole and just watch the smiles. This is what joy looks like. Look your smiling already! Q: What is Happy Clucking Holidays anyway? A: It's me (Dirk Keysser) clucking Christmas songs like a chicken accompanied by the virtuoso performances of my producer Alec Shantzis. This is no barnyard chicken piped through a computer this is "for real". So real it's like music! There is classical, jazz, medieval, pop. This is what happens when a knucklehead (read comedic genius) with a silly idea (Dirk Keysser) meets a really talented musician (Alec Shantzis) that is willing to risk his reputation to make it sound truly awesome. Q: Why did you go through so much trouble to produce this thing? Wouldn't it have been so much easier to record a real chicken play jingle bells and leave it at that? A: Sure it would have been easier. But why build just a boat when you can build the Titanic? Bad example! I mean why do it if it's going to sink? This is really good! It's got personality, warmth, and musicality, energy, verve, elan. It is imbued with the joy of living. It's fun and timeless. It makes a great gift! Buy one today! Heck, buy two or three! Read our official press release! Man Clucking Like Chicken Saves Millions from Holiday Boredom! Move over dogs barking. Happy Clucking Holidays is here to claim it's place in the realm of Christmas classics. This masterfully produced collection of holiday songs is performed by one man clucking like a chicken to a wide variety of musical arrangements. On November 7, 2002, this CD will be available for $9.99 via the Internet. Happy Clucking Holidays is a high quality recording featuring Dirk Keysser, the mastermind behind this quirky collection of clucking, accompanied by Alec Shantzis, an accomplished musician and Emmy award-winning composer. With sincerity and enthusiasm - and a sense of humor, of course - Dirk and Alec have turned an idea that started as a joke into it's own art form. Dirk comments, 'The sound quality is just tremendous and each track has warmth, personality and humor.' From Medieval Minstrels to Jazz combos to church organs, this CD has got it all. 'It was a real creative endeavor,' says Dirk. 'Working with Alec really took the project to a whole new level and opened a universe of possibilities for me. I'm just so much happier with the outcome than I ever expected I could be.' It all started on a perfect snowy winter's night in Manhattan. Dirk was walking with his girlfriend Karen and just spontaneously started clucking 'Silent Night' in a doleful and heartfelt way and they started laughing. He thought, 'this would be a really funny CD.' When he had the same thought the next winter, he realized 'I just had to make the thing or it would drive me crazy. ' Happy Clucking Holidays is now available nationwide and is this season's 'must have' novelty album. For more information or interviews, please contact Dirk Keysser by email at firstname.lastname@example.org.